So, here we sit again evacuated from our home for the second year in a row for a hurricane named "Sandy". Now, mind you this is a different house at a different location compared to last year. But, water is water, and it doesn't really matter where it is coming from, and when you are talking about the Atlantic Ocean, there is an unlimited supply.
It is funny though, that last year, I took with me so much more stuff. My priorities seem different somehow. Or maybe it is that we were lucky last time, and I am just a gambler this year. Maybe. This is a big one they say. A "hybrid" storm that is. Never heard of one of those, but I am always willing to learn something new, except I would rather not live it in order to learn it.
So, today I am satisfied with just surviving in one piece hoping there is some sort of semblance of a home to go home to. Dear Lord, please keep us all safe, grant us your mercy as mother nature cannot and give us the strength to somehow make it through with out too much loss. In this case, deja vu would be a good thing.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Whitney Houston
Whitney Houston passed away to day at the age of 48. She was a popular music and movie star during my younger years. In fact, she had her baby in 1993 in the hospital where I worked at the time. I remember that all employees were forbidden to even go on the same floor of the hospital if they had no business there. Rumor had it that some were fired when they tried to get a glimpse of her. Her baby was named Bobbie Christina after her father, Bobbie Brown. Whitney certainly was a star in her day, having come from humble beginnings after being born in Newark, NJ.
The point of this blog is that it has always bothered me that a celebrity has to die before anything good is ever said about them. In recent years, Whitney had been on tabloid covers with reports of drug and alcohol problems and stints in rehab. She had had some horrible concert attempts in Australia, where it was reported that she sang so badly that concert goers walked out and asked for their money back. But, it seems that recently, she had just filmed a movie and was preparing somewhat of a comeback.
Imagine if all the things that are being said right now after her death were actually said to her face while she was alive, would this outcome have been different? She is being praised and complimented, and they are scrambling to prepare a memorial for her at the Grammy Show tomorrow. But in recent years, there have been very few good things said about her. Now, they say she was one of the greatest singers in history. Too bad she can't hear them say that now.
This moment in time is all we are guaranteed. Make a point of saying the positive things that mean so much to people while they are still alive, because if you wait, you may lose that chance forever. And forever is a very long time.
The point of this blog is that it has always bothered me that a celebrity has to die before anything good is ever said about them. In recent years, Whitney had been on tabloid covers with reports of drug and alcohol problems and stints in rehab. She had had some horrible concert attempts in Australia, where it was reported that she sang so badly that concert goers walked out and asked for their money back. But, it seems that recently, she had just filmed a movie and was preparing somewhat of a comeback.
Imagine if all the things that are being said right now after her death were actually said to her face while she was alive, would this outcome have been different? She is being praised and complimented, and they are scrambling to prepare a memorial for her at the Grammy Show tomorrow. But in recent years, there have been very few good things said about her. Now, they say she was one of the greatest singers in history. Too bad she can't hear them say that now.
This moment in time is all we are guaranteed. Make a point of saying the positive things that mean so much to people while they are still alive, because if you wait, you may lose that chance forever. And forever is a very long time.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Just in Case You Asked
For those who know me and for those I have yet to meet, I am often asked just what it is that I do for a living. Clearly, I am not old enough to retire, but yet I am young enough to work. If only that were true. I would give anything to be able to continue to work at my chosen profession as a registered nurse, but I cannot. You see, in 1997 I became ill with what was somewhat of a mysterious illness at that point in time. It took a couple of years to diagnose after multiple consults with all kinds of doctors. But finally, the accurate diagnosis came. By any means, it was not good news, and especially not for someone in the prime of their life. I was given the diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome with Fibromyalgia.
At the age of 37, that is not a diagnosis you want to hear. This is the case especially, because at that time, little was known about the disease process. Most people, including many medical personnel had never even heard of it. I must admit, that Fibromyalgia was a new word for me even as a nurse of nearly 16 years. Unfortunately, over time I would come to know exactly what it was and what it meant to have such a diagnosis.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a collection of symptoms that manifests itself in multiple ways. So as not to bore you to tears, it is basically overwhelming fatigue with symptoms like the flu that feel like they just never went away. Anyone who has ever had the flu knows what that is like. In the other instance, Fibromyalgia is overwhelming pain in most of the body that never will ever go away as long as one shall live. Like I said, not good news.
Aside from the obvious toll illnesses such as these take on a human life in the physical aspects, what they do to the human spirit is much more damaging. Due to the fact that it is very difficult to get a diagnosis due to the complexity and involvement of the entire human body, it has no known cause. There isn't a whole lot of effective treatment, either. Often, one is told they are just plain crazy because there is no single test, x-ray, CT Scan, MRI, Ultrasound or blood test that these illnesses will ever show up on. So, a doctor must make a diagnosis based on symptoms and the testimony of the patient. In other words, they just have to listen to you and believe what you are saying. Imagine that.
Personally, I can't ever imagine that anyone in their right mind or in a crazy one for that matter, would ever want to have anything to do with these illnesses. Of course, they are all quite quick to say that none of these things will ever kill you, at least physically anyway. But, they forget that there is much more to a living, breathing person than just the physical body. You see, illnesses like these do kill. It just takes a little longer. Moment by moment, day by day, year after year a piece of you dies. It is like being in a constant state of grief as you watch your career disappear, your finances crumble, your friends and family give up and abandon you while you suffer one day after the next. Part of the problem is that when you have these illnesses, you still look okay on the outside. So, they say, "how could you be so sick if you look so good"? My answer to that is, "turn me inside out then".
So, there you have it. As time goes on, more and more people all over the world are receiving these diagnosis. CFS and Fibromyalgia have been proven to be as disabling as severe rheumatoid arthritis. Inability to work, poverty and prejudice combined makes for a not so great life. I often hear, "Well, have a positive attitude. It will make all the difference". Really??? Walk one day in my shoes, and see if you still say that.
At the age of 37, that is not a diagnosis you want to hear. This is the case especially, because at that time, little was known about the disease process. Most people, including many medical personnel had never even heard of it. I must admit, that Fibromyalgia was a new word for me even as a nurse of nearly 16 years. Unfortunately, over time I would come to know exactly what it was and what it meant to have such a diagnosis.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is a collection of symptoms that manifests itself in multiple ways. So as not to bore you to tears, it is basically overwhelming fatigue with symptoms like the flu that feel like they just never went away. Anyone who has ever had the flu knows what that is like. In the other instance, Fibromyalgia is overwhelming pain in most of the body that never will ever go away as long as one shall live. Like I said, not good news.
Aside from the obvious toll illnesses such as these take on a human life in the physical aspects, what they do to the human spirit is much more damaging. Due to the fact that it is very difficult to get a diagnosis due to the complexity and involvement of the entire human body, it has no known cause. There isn't a whole lot of effective treatment, either. Often, one is told they are just plain crazy because there is no single test, x-ray, CT Scan, MRI, Ultrasound or blood test that these illnesses will ever show up on. So, a doctor must make a diagnosis based on symptoms and the testimony of the patient. In other words, they just have to listen to you and believe what you are saying. Imagine that.
Personally, I can't ever imagine that anyone in their right mind or in a crazy one for that matter, would ever want to have anything to do with these illnesses. Of course, they are all quite quick to say that none of these things will ever kill you, at least physically anyway. But, they forget that there is much more to a living, breathing person than just the physical body. You see, illnesses like these do kill. It just takes a little longer. Moment by moment, day by day, year after year a piece of you dies. It is like being in a constant state of grief as you watch your career disappear, your finances crumble, your friends and family give up and abandon you while you suffer one day after the next. Part of the problem is that when you have these illnesses, you still look okay on the outside. So, they say, "how could you be so sick if you look so good"? My answer to that is, "turn me inside out then".
So, there you have it. As time goes on, more and more people all over the world are receiving these diagnosis. CFS and Fibromyalgia have been proven to be as disabling as severe rheumatoid arthritis. Inability to work, poverty and prejudice combined makes for a not so great life. I often hear, "Well, have a positive attitude. It will make all the difference". Really??? Walk one day in my shoes, and see if you still say that.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
A Different Kind of Year
For me, 2011 was a very bad year. Probably, one of the worst. A lot of not so nice people found their way into our lives and created a huge amount of chaos. But, I have always been a self-proclaimed survivor, and I am once again determined to "triumph over adversity", shall we say. Nice guys may finish last, but they also get the last word. I have said what I had to say, and now I'm done. Time to move on and get on with new business. No more time to waste.
So, it is a new year. Thank God for that. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. But, I am resolved to making 2012 a better year, if not a good one. Sometimes we need to take back the control we should have over our own lives rather than allowing others to run it for us. So, if anyone is interested, I'm in charge on this end once again. So, don't even think about challenging me. You will never win. Not a chance. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
When all else fails, there is always our faith in something greater than we are. I wouldn't consider myself a very religious person, but I believe in God. And he believes in us. Each of us has a guardian angel sent to us by God at the time of our birth. That angel stands to the right of you and will walk beside you throughout your life. If you speak, they will listen. And if you listen, they will speak. Sometimes we forget to believe or doubt there is something there to guide and protect us. We are here only to learn the lessons that God wants us to learn before we cross over to the other side. In 2002, during a very dangerous car accident, I went there for a brief few moments. The other side, I mean. Believe me when I say that it will be worth all of our trials and tribulations and all the suffering and challenges we face here on earth. We will be rewarded with great peace and contentment beyond anything we have experienced in the earthly world. I did not want to return to this life, but it was not my time. There is nothing to fear in case you have your doubts. I can promise you that. Just believe. Make the new year a different kind of year. Make it a good one.
So, it is a new year. Thank God for that. I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. But, I am resolved to making 2012 a better year, if not a good one. Sometimes we need to take back the control we should have over our own lives rather than allowing others to run it for us. So, if anyone is interested, I'm in charge on this end once again. So, don't even think about challenging me. You will never win. Not a chance. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
When all else fails, there is always our faith in something greater than we are. I wouldn't consider myself a very religious person, but I believe in God. And he believes in us. Each of us has a guardian angel sent to us by God at the time of our birth. That angel stands to the right of you and will walk beside you throughout your life. If you speak, they will listen. And if you listen, they will speak. Sometimes we forget to believe or doubt there is something there to guide and protect us. We are here only to learn the lessons that God wants us to learn before we cross over to the other side. In 2002, during a very dangerous car accident, I went there for a brief few moments. The other side, I mean. Believe me when I say that it will be worth all of our trials and tribulations and all the suffering and challenges we face here on earth. We will be rewarded with great peace and contentment beyond anything we have experienced in the earthly world. I did not want to return to this life, but it was not my time. There is nothing to fear in case you have your doubts. I can promise you that. Just believe. Make the new year a different kind of year. Make it a good one.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
More Than A Second In Time
Clearly, it has been a very long time since a new post has appeared on this blog. Actually, it has been nearly a year, many seconds in time. To put it mildly, it has been a year from hell. There are not enough words in the English language, nor space in a blog to ever begin to explain it. So, I will not even try. But, as it always does, time marches on and so shall I. Another new beginning, again.
As Hurricane Irene is now, thankfully, in our rear view mirror, another lesson has been learned. I learned that I never want to go through that again. Although, there are many who have suffered great loss with this storm, we were relatively lucky. Perhaps, the only real damage was that to our minds having endured the fear of losing a lifetime of belongings and many of the memories associated with them. Of course, they were really only "things", and we are fortunate enough to still be alive and well. But, 51 years is a long time, and sometimes "things" mean way more than just that. I always said that I could never imagine having to quickly decide what things I would take with me if I ever had to quickly evacuate my home for any reason. Well, I don't have to imagine it anymore because we had to do just that.
Standing in a house looking at a lifetime of belongings, knowing that only what could fit into a car after two people and two dogs was not an easy decision. Of course, there are the obvious things like photo albums, paper documents, and valuables such as jewelry and electronics. Random clothing was thrown into suitcases, food, water, medication and pet essentials were next. And that was about it. No more room in the car, and a million reminders of memories of the past had to be left behind. No family treasures, elementary school artwork, yearbooks, birthday cards and special gifts selected with great care. No vacation momento or resin angel collections or little clay figurines made by a 9 year old. And the list goes on. All left behind not knowing if they would ever be seen again. I pictured everything just floating away with the tide as the angry sea would recede after the damage had been done. But, that is not how the story would end this time. By the grace of Heaven above, we were spared from what could have been a terrible scene and a heartbreaking turn of events.
There comes a time in every life when we must surrender our life and the control we have over it to God. We must admit that we are not in charge, and we must look to HIM with faith and hope that he hears our prayers. As he has given us life, he is also the one to take it away. So, for now we humbly thank him for his love and protection from the storm. And thanks, God, for watching over the blankies and my craft stuff. We really appreciate it! :)
As Hurricane Irene is now, thankfully, in our rear view mirror, another lesson has been learned. I learned that I never want to go through that again. Although, there are many who have suffered great loss with this storm, we were relatively lucky. Perhaps, the only real damage was that to our minds having endured the fear of losing a lifetime of belongings and many of the memories associated with them. Of course, they were really only "things", and we are fortunate enough to still be alive and well. But, 51 years is a long time, and sometimes "things" mean way more than just that. I always said that I could never imagine having to quickly decide what things I would take with me if I ever had to quickly evacuate my home for any reason. Well, I don't have to imagine it anymore because we had to do just that.
Standing in a house looking at a lifetime of belongings, knowing that only what could fit into a car after two people and two dogs was not an easy decision. Of course, there are the obvious things like photo albums, paper documents, and valuables such as jewelry and electronics. Random clothing was thrown into suitcases, food, water, medication and pet essentials were next. And that was about it. No more room in the car, and a million reminders of memories of the past had to be left behind. No family treasures, elementary school artwork, yearbooks, birthday cards and special gifts selected with great care. No vacation momento or resin angel collections or little clay figurines made by a 9 year old. And the list goes on. All left behind not knowing if they would ever be seen again. I pictured everything just floating away with the tide as the angry sea would recede after the damage had been done. But, that is not how the story would end this time. By the grace of Heaven above, we were spared from what could have been a terrible scene and a heartbreaking turn of events.
There comes a time in every life when we must surrender our life and the control we have over it to God. We must admit that we are not in charge, and we must look to HIM with faith and hope that he hears our prayers. As he has given us life, he is also the one to take it away. So, for now we humbly thank him for his love and protection from the storm. And thanks, God, for watching over the blankies and my craft stuff. We really appreciate it! :)
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Happy
I have become a big fan of the Bravo TV Housewives series. Yes, I too got sucked in by the daily drama. Recently, on the Atlanta series, one of the housewives was lamenting about how she felt some of the other ladies were bringing her down. Her good friend responded by saying "Never let anyone take away your happy". It was simple, but so profoundly wise.
Of course, we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. Yet, often it is not surprising that others are not so happy FOR us. Misery loves company. There always seems to be someone that wants to bring us down because they are envious of our happiness. Jealousy is the root of all evil.
History has shown us that some of the most trying times we have faced in this country are rooted in jealousy. For the current generation, the terrorist attacks of 9/11 are a classic example. After all, what was the so-called reason for those attacks? The answer is obvious. The terrorists were jealous of Americans, our lifestyle, our freedom and our sense of security. We had something that they never had and probably never would. Did they succeed in harming those of whom were the objects of their jealousy? Yes, but nonetheless, their actions did not get them happiness, freedom or security. Instead, we now stand stronger, safer and still free.
There are those who declare their rightousness to hurt others as they climb the ladder to their own perceived happiness. But as we have seen over and over again, they soon discover that the fall back down to the ground is a long and painful one. And there they sit, surrounded by regrets and unable to turn back the hands of time. Their jealousy and envy returned them to where they had once begun, angry and bitter, wallowing in self pity.
It is said that what goes around, comes around. And indeed, it does. In fact, it is much sooner than one might think. In the words of a little 2-year old friend of mine..."Be happy". Never let anyone take it away.
Of course, we are all ultimately responsible for our own happiness. Yet, often it is not surprising that others are not so happy FOR us. Misery loves company. There always seems to be someone that wants to bring us down because they are envious of our happiness. Jealousy is the root of all evil.
History has shown us that some of the most trying times we have faced in this country are rooted in jealousy. For the current generation, the terrorist attacks of 9/11 are a classic example. After all, what was the so-called reason for those attacks? The answer is obvious. The terrorists were jealous of Americans, our lifestyle, our freedom and our sense of security. We had something that they never had and probably never would. Did they succeed in harming those of whom were the objects of their jealousy? Yes, but nonetheless, their actions did not get them happiness, freedom or security. Instead, we now stand stronger, safer and still free.
There are those who declare their rightousness to hurt others as they climb the ladder to their own perceived happiness. But as we have seen over and over again, they soon discover that the fall back down to the ground is a long and painful one. And there they sit, surrounded by regrets and unable to turn back the hands of time. Their jealousy and envy returned them to where they had once begun, angry and bitter, wallowing in self pity.
It is said that what goes around, comes around. And indeed, it does. In fact, it is much sooner than one might think. In the words of a little 2-year old friend of mine..."Be happy". Never let anyone take it away.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Happy Father's Day
Today was Father's Day. My father is no longer with us, so it was not necessarily a day of celebration. But I cannot let the day go by without saying something about the man that was my father.
My dad never finished high school. He left school to help his family by working in order to support them. His own father was very ill, and his brother was in the navy. That left just him to bring in the money and sustain the family. But, he was probably the smartest man I've ever known. He was smart about life. He had common sense. He was strong and kind and proud. He never liked to ask anyone to do anything for him, as he always said that if you want something done right, just do it yourself. I must admit that I subscribe to the same thinking myself. The thing that I liked best about my dad was that he never spoke a harsh or hateful word. He supported me no matter what I decided to do, even if he didn't agree with some of my decisions. He always said, "I just want you to be happy". I loved him for that. He taught me right from wrong, and how to treat others with respect and courtesy.
He worked very hard at his job as a laborer and a supervisor of the mechanics at the plant. He had wanted to be a police officer, but at that time, many of our military men and women were returning from WWII, and they got those types of jobs firt.
He never missed a day of work, even when he was sick. It didn't matter to him if I woke him up out of a sound sleep to to tell that I had had a bad dream. He never got mad even though he had to wake up at 4 am to go to work. When I got a C in chemistry, he understood how hard it was for me and just let it go. There were no lectures or punishments. Just understanding. When I told him that I was going to give him his first grandchild, he was so happy. He was always there for me when I needed him right up to the very end. When he finally told me that it was time for him to leave this earth, it was very hard. As much as I wanted and needed him to stay a little longer, I knew that it was my time to give back to him all that he had given to me. Despite my sorrow, I let him go to heaven where so many of those who loved him were there to meet him once again. I knew he would be happy there. It was the right thing to do. I miss his stories and his silly jokes. I miss his love. I miss talking about the weather and politics and war stories. But I know that he is in a better place with his family where he wanted to be. He had watched so many of them pass away, and he must have longed for them having been the youngist in the family.He always promised me not to worry because "you have a back up" as he would say.
It meant so much more than just money, it was knowing that I was never alone in the world. I'll burn a candle for him tonight. I miss you, Dad. Happy Father's Day in Heaven. I love you......... Susan
My dad never finished high school. He left school to help his family by working in order to support them. His own father was very ill, and his brother was in the navy. That left just him to bring in the money and sustain the family. But, he was probably the smartest man I've ever known. He was smart about life. He had common sense. He was strong and kind and proud. He never liked to ask anyone to do anything for him, as he always said that if you want something done right, just do it yourself. I must admit that I subscribe to the same thinking myself. The thing that I liked best about my dad was that he never spoke a harsh or hateful word. He supported me no matter what I decided to do, even if he didn't agree with some of my decisions. He always said, "I just want you to be happy". I loved him for that. He taught me right from wrong, and how to treat others with respect and courtesy.
He worked very hard at his job as a laborer and a supervisor of the mechanics at the plant. He had wanted to be a police officer, but at that time, many of our military men and women were returning from WWII, and they got those types of jobs firt.
He never missed a day of work, even when he was sick. It didn't matter to him if I woke him up out of a sound sleep to to tell that I had had a bad dream. He never got mad even though he had to wake up at 4 am to go to work. When I got a C in chemistry, he understood how hard it was for me and just let it go. There were no lectures or punishments. Just understanding. When I told him that I was going to give him his first grandchild, he was so happy. He was always there for me when I needed him right up to the very end. When he finally told me that it was time for him to leave this earth, it was very hard. As much as I wanted and needed him to stay a little longer, I knew that it was my time to give back to him all that he had given to me. Despite my sorrow, I let him go to heaven where so many of those who loved him were there to meet him once again. I knew he would be happy there. It was the right thing to do. I miss his stories and his silly jokes. I miss his love. I miss talking about the weather and politics and war stories. But I know that he is in a better place with his family where he wanted to be. He had watched so many of them pass away, and he must have longed for them having been the youngist in the family.He always promised me not to worry because "you have a back up" as he would say.
It meant so much more than just money, it was knowing that I was never alone in the world. I'll burn a candle for him tonight. I miss you, Dad. Happy Father's Day in Heaven. I love you......... Susan
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